Day one of the detox process was never going to be easy. To ween yourself off something/ someone that you have been with for everyday for the last 18 months is not exactly fun, so to say I was dreading waking up in an understatement.
I slept for an hour at a time last night, waking up at the same time EVERY hour thinking I was having a nightmare, but quickly realising that was my reality. I wondered what went wrong, what I could have changed, how you could be such an arsehole and how on earth I was going to get through not contacting you from here on in.
Once it was time to wake up and face the day, I forced myself out of bed and thought to myself 'life has got to go on.' I forced myself to get ready for work, but when push came to shove, I could barely think straight let alone stop the tears from strolling down my face.
Thankfully I have a great Mum who comforted me and wasted no time in calling me in sick and talking me through the situation - You forget that your parents were once your age, making the same mistakes, dealing with the same issues and being comforted by their own parents. It's easy to forget that people deal with this shit all the time - I'm sure a million women/ men are going through the same things as me right now.
In the hard times, there are no people more important than your friends - your real ones show their true colours and step up to the plate in ways you can never imagine. I am lucky to have a very strong group of girlfriends, who are flawed by everything that has happened to me and who struggle to see me go through this, but are here 110 per cent - no matter what.
I headed straight to Harriet's for a shopping trip with her and Amelia. It was good to get out of the house and start my day doing something distracting. We looked around the city and I tried on some things, had some comfort food and headed home. This wasn't the key to getting me over Ben, but it was the key to making me move on.
Of all weekends, Harriet and Amelia's grandparents were at Macleay Island - a quiet little retirement/ leisure island where there is nothing and no one to distract you and it is pure relaxation. The Healy's have a holiday home there and Harriet suggested that we all join her for a visit - just what I needed!!!! I needed to get out of Brisbane and I am so bloody glad I have.
My phone has been surrendered to my backbone Dollie and my Facebook password is in her possession as well. While some people may see this as extreme, I see this as completely necessary.
We are on the island now and it is very peaceful. I may have too much time to think, but I am lucky to have three girl friends around me, so when I am feeling shit about this whole situation, I only have to look to my left or right for support - amazing.
Day one is almost over and although I can't stop thinking about Ben and about what he is up to without me, I also know already that this is the best thing for me - Ben was a bad egg, in fact I don't even know who that person is anymore... I don't even know how I stayed with a stranger for so long.
I slept for an hour at a time last night, waking up at the same time EVERY hour thinking I was having a nightmare, but quickly realising that was my reality. I wondered what went wrong, what I could have changed, how you could be such an arsehole and how on earth I was going to get through not contacting you from here on in.
Once it was time to wake up and face the day, I forced myself out of bed and thought to myself 'life has got to go on.' I forced myself to get ready for work, but when push came to shove, I could barely think straight let alone stop the tears from strolling down my face.
Thankfully I have a great Mum who comforted me and wasted no time in calling me in sick and talking me through the situation - You forget that your parents were once your age, making the same mistakes, dealing with the same issues and being comforted by their own parents. It's easy to forget that people deal with this shit all the time - I'm sure a million women/ men are going through the same things as me right now.
In the hard times, there are no people more important than your friends - your real ones show their true colours and step up to the plate in ways you can never imagine. I am lucky to have a very strong group of girlfriends, who are flawed by everything that has happened to me and who struggle to see me go through this, but are here 110 per cent - no matter what.
I headed straight to Harriet's for a shopping trip with her and Amelia. It was good to get out of the house and start my day doing something distracting. We looked around the city and I tried on some things, had some comfort food and headed home. This wasn't the key to getting me over Ben, but it was the key to making me move on.
Of all weekends, Harriet and Amelia's grandparents were at Macleay Island - a quiet little retirement/ leisure island where there is nothing and no one to distract you and it is pure relaxation. The Healy's have a holiday home there and Harriet suggested that we all join her for a visit - just what I needed!!!! I needed to get out of Brisbane and I am so bloody glad I have.
My phone has been surrendered to my backbone Dollie and my Facebook password is in her possession as well. While some people may see this as extreme, I see this as completely necessary.
We are on the island now and it is very peaceful. I may have too much time to think, but I am lucky to have three girl friends around me, so when I am feeling shit about this whole situation, I only have to look to my left or right for support - amazing.
Day one is almost over and although I can't stop thinking about Ben and about what he is up to without me, I also know already that this is the best thing for me - Ben was a bad egg, in fact I don't even know who that person is anymore... I don't even know how I stayed with a stranger for so long.
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