DAY TWO

Coming to the island was the best thing I could have done at this point. Had I been in Brisbane on a Saturday night, I would of had to go out - I would of had to go out to see Ben, or to trick myself into believing that getting drunk and waking up with a headache tomorrow was going to ease the pain of what was really going on in my life. Realistically all of the above just would of made things worse.

That said, it hasn't been a whole lot easier being on the island... BUT being able to laze around, sun bake, eat fish and chips and have a few sneaky drinks with three girlfriends on a Saturday afternoon sure as hell beats an emotional Saturday night out!!!

I didn't sleep much last night. We went to bed around 11pm , but I was up from about 4am just thinking about everything.

I thought about things I now wish I did differently when I initially wanted to break up with Ben, I thought about why I broke up with him and how I wish I just learned to love his love for me, I thought about how he could of cheated and lied to me so much after everything, I even thought about him with someone else... very disturbing.

My mind ticked over from early morning to mid morning, but my eyes didn't open. I didn't want to have to face the day too soon.

One fantastic thing about getting yourself away with girlfriends when you are going through something like this is that there is always a distraction of some sort. It also helps that you don't want to be a Debbie Downer like Carrie when Big left her at the alter - you HAVE TO put on a brave face and deal with the day eventually.

I'd be lying if I said there weren't times during the day where I just wished I was at home in bed crying and eating chocolate, but my God that would be much more depressing than this!!

I am going to make it a goal that everyday I will learn something new from this awful experience, after all I deserve something out of all of this!

Today I learned that no matter how hard it is to pull yourself off that couch, or how expensive it might be to getaway with your friends for a night, you need to seclude yourself with friends, movies, activities, whatever!! Just do some things you enjoy, even if you aren't enjoying them at the time, because chances are He is living his regular life without you...

...and by the way - you DO deserve that big chocolate thick shake you had with lunch!

See you on day three! xx